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If Coffee Commercials Were Honest - Honest Ads (Starbucks, Coffee Bean, Folgers Parody)

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SUBSCRIBE HERE: http://goo.gl/ITTCPW Only good marketing could get the entire world addicted to black liquid that raises blood pressure and increases stress. CLICK HERE for our new series, WE'RE NOT ALONE - http://goo.gl/cC9L5o CLICK HERE for more ROM.COM SEASON 3 - https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list... CLICK HERE for more ROM.COM SEASON 2 - https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list... CLICK HERE for more ROM.COM SEASON 1 - http://goo.gl/dWNuKx CLICK HERE For more AFTER HOURS: http://goo.gl/Nrg6Jh CLICK HERE For the CinemaSins Team-Up Playlist: http://goo.gl/6Fr465 WATCH every episode of STARSHIP ICARUS here - http://goo.gl/21RejZ See more http://www.cracked.com LIKE us on: http://www.facebook.com/cracked FOLLOW us on: http://www.twitter.com/cracked FOLLOW us on: http://cracked.tumblr.com Starbucks, Coffee Bean and Folgers are basically drug dealers, right?
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Text Comments (11693)
Captain Doomsday (1 hour ago)
Eat shit, Roger, black tea has caffiene, too.
ChrissinatorHD (16 hours ago)
I got an coffee ad on this video... Ironic
I Love My Beard (20 hours ago)
Randor was my D&D name...hehe
One Cpt Obvious (2 days ago)
Nothing is more addictive than Roger
Zizhao Yu (2 days ago)
I don't drink coffee. But your way of talking is funny and aggressive. LOL
Chris Lesemann (3 days ago)
I don't waste my money on coffee. That shit is gross
Ahmad (4 days ago)
Roger for president!!!
Michael Koiku (4 days ago)
I actually watched this while high on coffee ☕️
heywood jablome (5 days ago)
roger has that look and the voice that make his skits hilarious
Meowtown Review (5 days ago)
Now I want a cup of coffee...
Jason Blackwell (5 days ago)
I like my coffee like I like my women.....cheap.
Guts (5 days ago)
coffee is no drug... i can drink if i want and if i dont want or if there is no coffee avaible it´s ok for me.
White Coyote (6 days ago)
I've always called coffee dirt water because that's what it smells and taste like. Chi tea on the other hand, divine.
Venus (7 days ago)
Coffee is disgusting, at least 4 me.
Kheldaurus (9 days ago)
Calling coffee a drug is so stupid
weerob1jnr (9 days ago)
This guy could sell crack to cops
Wilson Harris (9 days ago)
Junkies like me loves coffee.
James Willmus (11 days ago)
Coffee tastes like shit and if you think you need it every morning, congratulations! You're an addict! I don't drink the stuff and I can still pull 18 and 20 hour days for weeks at a time. Coffee does one thing, it tricks your brain into thinking you're not tired. That means you never get any real sleep if you're drinking a ton of coffee, which makes you more tired and makes you crave more coffee.
Denis Franco (11 days ago)
the only funny thing in this video is how he says "unregulated" so many times as if regulation was a good or ethical thing at all.
Desiree2401 (11 days ago)
Roger you're absolutely hilarious lmao
Reapy M (11 days ago)
I never liked coffe anyway. Bleh
tischeishockey (12 days ago)
We get it, it's a drug.
Earl gibson (13 days ago)
i had a coffee commercial before this video lol
AMMUNATON (15 days ago)
This guy....
what12311 (15 days ago)
The mocha compliments the coffee in my opinion
Danny James (16 days ago)
I better feel tired than drink this shit
Patrascu Lucian (16 days ago)
Looks like 5.3K people named Randor saw this video
Diogo V. Kersting (17 days ago)
So, the point of the video is that coffee is a "drug" with no major side effects? If anything, this video makes me think more drugs should be legal... So, a lot of people are miserable to produce coffee? That's a good point, but it's just not really expanded enough... who exactly is suffering to produce the coffee? As for the bitter taste, I agree that's a bit "stockholm syndrome", but that point doesn't really apply to people that's already used to the bitter taste.
Mason Hyden (19 days ago)
Lmoa! "A nice warm cup of your personality" That is soo true, know a bunch of people that coffee is always their first subject of conversation of the day.
Gary W-l-o-t (20 days ago)
You forgot to mention how medical "experts" say coffee actually helps prevent heart disease and a cup a day is healthy. I learned that from my mother who gets angry when I tell her they're just telling people that because the last thing a drug dealer wants is a consumer who wants to quit.
Pro Bliss (20 days ago)
This actually made coffee way more desirable lol
Zombie Halo (20 days ago)
That's why I don't go to Starbucks I prefer Wawa and if you don't know what Wawa is you're obviously not from Pennsylvania or New Jersey let's just say the coffee is cheaper and they won't write your name on the cup
Would have been so kool if he also said "But hey dont feel so bad for falling for it , because its not just poor people i get . Some rich people buy this one brand at $500 a pound and it that comes out of a lemurs ass." ( puts hands up and laughs evily )
lost heart (21 days ago)
There ain't no better way to get your morning cup of Joe than getting it up you hole.
egil larsen (21 days ago)
he keeps saying "drug" like it's supposed to mean anything, but littereally evreything could be considered a drug. sugar has a bigger effect on us than cafeine, and yet sugar in moderate amounts is absolutely essential (the brain only accepts carbohydrates as energy). Cafein is not acctually a dangerous drug (at least in the amounts you could possibly consume from coffe), it acctually has benefits. and to all you americans who suffer from drinking shit coffee, try drinking a real cup of italian esspresso, it's fruity and has lots of depth to it. they did however have a point in terms "fair trade" and the global market.
Daniël Mulder (21 days ago)
Throw coffee away and embrace the lovely Matcha tea. Much healthier and gives you a more stable and better energy flow for your entire day :)
Spellweaver (21 days ago)
Caffeine doesn't stimilate neural system. It only blocks adenosine which causes sleepyness. It has no effect on already active brain. Second, people become tolerant to caffeine really fast as your brain develops additional adenosine receptors in responce to them being blocked. It can cause something of a withdrawal symptome if you stop drinking coffee but it's fixed by something as simple as a good night sleep. Third, adenosine isn't even the only thing that's responsible for sleep and people can actually sleep rather okay even after a cup of coffee if they are actually tired. Oh, and blood pressure increase is only noticeabe for those who drink coffee rarely.
Lerciezje (21 days ago)
Ah that reminds me! Time for a coffee!
Theo Lumina (21 days ago)
I just finished a cup of coffee right after the ads of this video
Lara Kunzi (21 days ago)
Other thing about coffee is that they can literally buy the politicians from the undeveloped countries. For an example, in Brazil, from 1889 to 1930 all the governments represented the coffees elite rather than people (all suported by US, of course)
Drakilicious (22 days ago)
That blonde had an amazing body.
Anticuando (22 days ago)
I go with Dunkin donuts and mcdo much better 😁😂
Necroticus (24 days ago)
don't forget that if you don't pour it down your throat like its got the cure for cancer in it, that shit gets cold, all the flavor we associate with coffee will oxidize out and you will be left with a cup of liquefied bitter ash. I mean at least it had cigar flavor when it was fresh. once it gets cold it tastes like chewing up a fist full of Tylenol.
Matt Hayes (24 days ago)
That tip jar shaking lol. Well done
skadill (24 days ago)
That's great,actually all true.Im 46 and never have had a cup of coffee,never will,this puts into words why.Waste of money and life
Zed P (24 days ago)
He simply loves to be hated.
Josette Vettel (25 days ago)
GNN THY WILL BE DONE++++Starbucks Coffee, Pesticides, Parasites, Radiation - SOQI ... www.chimachine4u.com/soqi-news7.html Starbucks coffee addiction, pesticides, ... COFFEE - Starbucks Addiction ... The liver can become overloaded trying to detoxify out all the chemical residue in coffee aNY cOFFEE DRINKERS PLEASE SHARE AND STY AOUT OF STARBUCKS FOR YOUR OWN HEALTH..YOU CAGO TO A SPEED WAY OR LOVE STATIONS AND GET THE SAME FROOTH ON THE TIOP IF YOYOUR COFFE FOR 1.50
Christian Mojica (25 days ago)
You forgot to mention that it helps ge trid of that unwanted stomach lining
Alex the Hun (26 days ago)
I love my coffee black and right out of the pot. I don't add anything at all.
Jason Sunderland (26 days ago)
Unless you’re a Mormon... 😂
Charlie Mills (26 days ago)
This is basically a leftist anti-capitalist channel.
Charlie Mills (25 days ago)
No, I have a point, bitch.
Paul William (26 days ago)
Charlie Mills Are you trolling or just obviously stupid?😒
Andrea Eden (26 days ago)
fun E
bruce lee (26 days ago)
Ilike my coffee like l like ilike my woman,hot black lol jkhaha
fukthegoog (26 days ago)
Never known a bigger bunch of cucks than cracked
D Man (27 days ago)
Limited Time Coffee Mug https://teespring.com/https://teespring.com/shop/get-poop-juice
0dDbalL 1138 (27 days ago)
I hate coffee.
julious davis (27 days ago)
See told ya all they were coming for coffee next. The FDA is trying now to ban kratom which is in same family as coffee and tea. Funny video but this is actually happening in real life. Kratom is no more of a drug than coffee. It's just tea is all it is. Don't listen to the negative propaganda. Basically big pharma wants to turn kratom into a pill so their bribing FDA so they can create a monopoly. A lot politicians are fighting to keep it legal while others are getting their pockets lined by big pharma. Big pharma can't patent a plant so they need to ban it to get sole control of it.
THE GOAT (27 days ago)
Guy from thumbnail looks like a fetus
Brent Ten (27 days ago)
Great Job Rogggar !!!!!!
Liana H (28 days ago)
I get coffee occasionally cuz it's like dessert but every day sounds HORRIBLE
Liana H (28 days ago)
It's funny cuz in the energy commercial he said coffee was fine
Chris Duke (28 days ago)
Realistic? Yeah, everybody gets dressed and heads out to the yard for the first cup of coffee. More than likely, you're still in underwear or sitting on the toilet at the start of that first cup. Lame!
Kraves (28 days ago)
Caffeine free for 2 years
Patrick Chubey (28 days ago)
If severely underpaid people grow and harvest those bitter seeds, then why is coffee so dam expensive? And,, if you're going to cry the blues about ' underpaid ' workers, Nancy, then why is almost everything sold in the United States made in China?? You remember China,,,, where millions of low paid workers have taken over millions of better paying jobs from us,,, THAT China?
shokka3 (28 days ago)
No one cares bro! Merica!
Daniel Medlin (28 days ago)
I thought it was supposed to be good for you all lies what about the caffeine in tea is that another big lie....
Total Zero (28 days ago)
Lmao the junkies can't handle the truth and dislike the video, go drink your poison, addicts.
Fuckk Face (28 days ago)
Fuck this is hilarious especially if you don't partake. Fuckin druggies
Daniel Taylor (28 days ago)
Roger Roger. What's your victor Vector?
Shawn 4x42500 (28 days ago)
Hilarious! 😀😂😅
Joshua Boylan (28 days ago)
Love video but I’m still going to drink it Mountain Dew to mcidees fraps
Joshua Boylan (28 days ago)
I’m happily addicted
Nabil (28 days ago)
Really pointless video. What new contribution have you made by sharing what’s already known!? Cool you achieved some clicks
Blackwatch Pilot (28 days ago)
>What new contribution have you made Do you guage contribution based on new knowledge introduced to a topic? This contributes a new, entertainful and satirical format to a topic many people would still be ignorant on. Easy to consume and easy to process.
If coffee doesn't taste like a burnt tire you're doing it wrong i love black coffee
Alex the Hun (26 days ago)
Heavily Armed Easily Pissed Yeah I say they are doing it very wrong. To me black coffee is the cats meow.
Grendel (28 days ago)
you forgot that as one of the top three addictive substances sold legally in the US, it's distributed to children, without need to prove age, and nobody looks twice... but then that's mostly in soda and "energy" drinks. i thought you were going to say wet cigar butts and ass... not asphalt. close enough!
OJD Berri (29 days ago)
Roger is funny
Dan Shelton (29 days ago)
Does this stuff give anyone else a headache when they drink it?
Tick Tock (29 days ago)
boring. not funny.
ElFranches (29 days ago)
Roge you are the best
Bhusta Cap (29 days ago)
This kills me, its so funny and true
Belal DarkneSS (29 days ago)
so, is anyone campaigning to ban coffee yet ? I'd like to participate in that to piss off all those who want to ban cigarettes, if I am not allowed my drug, your'e not allowed yours. #BanCoffee
Ben Wittmer (29 days ago)
I'll bet Roger drinks coffee
Donnie johnson (29 days ago)
I love coffee this old dude can kiss my ass
Jaason Bowlus (29 days ago)
I just pissed away 4 minutes and 50 seconds
adam may (29 days ago)
Coffees awesome and Last time I checked I don't see dragons after drinking a cup also it's not addictive I drink coffee everyday but have gone months at a time without drinking it also I don't think anyone likes there job so the fact people don't like picking coffee doesn't say much
IST Fitness PA (29 days ago)
Fuck the piss they serving at Starbucks.
TheCaptainLulz (29 days ago)
Hes right, it DOES taste like asphalt and tobacco. I cant stand the stuff.
Matthew Rammig (29 days ago)
I brewing coffee right now!
LE R (29 days ago)
Ed Soderlind (1 month ago)
Music And Coffee (1 month ago)
Ah yes the juice from small brown seeds, enjoying some now 🎼☕️
Grandma Adelaide (1 month ago)
I’m highly addicted to coffee. I wonder if there will be a tool created to make it possible to rid myself of this addiction.......like vaping did for smoking
Jingo Bingo (1 month ago)
VILE SEXISM!!! Youtube think it's acceptable to run a video depicting a woman bringing coffee to a male, as though she is some sort of servant to the Patriarchy? AAAAAARRRRGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Jason Paul (1 month ago)
Roger is the most woke person in history
Foxtrot Felix (1 month ago)
Roger's a really cool guy, he's a condescending douchebag in a very good way
Foxtrot Felix (1 month ago)
Roger's a really cool guy, he's a condescending douchebag in a very good way
samuski36 (1 month ago)
Ahhh, other people's misery tastes soooo good! :D
Freeman Pennington (1 month ago)
By the way you never hear about people drinking coffee or smoking cigarettes and then getting in their car and running over someone and killing them you want to know why because nicotine and caffeine or not mind altering substances they do not cause Euphoria and do not alter your perception by the way I can go for days weeks even months without drinking a cup of coffee if you're so weak minded that you have to get addicted to something then you need to be locked away in a padded cell
Freeman Pennington (1 month ago)
Here's some more communist liberal horse yet to warp your mind you can't smoke a cigarette or drink coffee but you can put other mind-altering drugs in your system like marijuana cocaine and everything else this is the result of a brainwashed fucked up socialist society that needs to be destroyed
Freeman Pennington (1 month ago)
Actually first of all caffeine is not a mind-altering substance it doesn't have a narcotic effect they want to legalize marijuana but now they're talking about banning coffee and cigarettes sounds stupid to me

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